Disappointment comes from expectations. Expectations come from beliefs. Beliefs come from others. We are never born with certain beliefs, this way or that. Those are imposed on us directly or indirectly, knowingly or unknowingly, by our parents, teachers, and guardians. Our beliefs are, in fact, not ours. They have been handed down to us. They have been developed under certain circumstances, some of which may no longer exist.
We take these beliefs and start applying them to situations and to people. When they match up, we feel a certain satisfaction that something has conformed to how it was supposed to be. We feel happy that it was normal, it was as expected, and it stayed within the boundaries of what we perceive as normal.
We have been brought up to play by the rules, to conform, to follow, to believe, and to expect. As they say, man is a social animal. We live in a society; we follow rules made by others and even base our beliefs on theirs. Is it not strange that our expectations are not ours? We have no individuality. When even our expectations are not ours, why should we be disappointed? Why should we measure, compare, and evaluate others?
Disappointment leads to misery. We don’t deserve that.

 

失望

失望源自期望。期望源自於想法。想法源自於他人。我們不會天生就有一定的想法,這樣或那樣等。它們均是由我們的父母、老師和監護人直接或間接地,有意或無意地強加諸我們身上。我們的想法,其實,不屬於自己。它們至今一直在流傳。這些想法建立的背景,其中不少或再存在。
我們接納這些信念,並開始將其應用到的不同情景及人。 當它們互相符合,我們感到若干程度的滿足,因為一切似乎依循常理發展。我們為這事情屬正常,為這事情符合預期而高興。
我們從小被教導要遵守遊戲規則,要順應,要跟隨,要相信及要期待。正如他人所說,人是社會性動物。我們生活在社會中;要遵循由別人制定的規則,甚至將想法建基於別人想法上。原來我們的期望不屬於我們自己,這難道不奇怪嗎?我們沒有了個性。當甚至連期望都不屬於我們自己時,還何苦失望呢?還何苦要計量、比較和評價其他人呢?
失望帶來痛苦。這太不值得了。

 

The Prism of Life (by Ansh Das, Signal 8 Press 2014)